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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26945227">Remind Blue</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rozyroe/pseuds/rozyroe'>rozyroe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Shinaya Week 2020 [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Nostalgia, time to get....EMOTIONAL</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:34:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,281</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26945227</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rozyroe/pseuds/rozyroe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Almost 10 years down the line, Two old friends run into each other one August morning and catch up.</p>
<p>For Shinaya Week 2020</p>
<p>Day 7: Free Day</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kisaragi Shintaro/Tateyama Ayano</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Shinaya Week 2020 [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1957276</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Remind Blue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this one got me in my FEELINGS ok. Had Remind Blue and Song's from BTS's HYYH Album so that should give you a good feeling for what tone im going for.</p>
<p>Again, no beta so all mistakes are my own</p>
<p>Enjoy! and don't forget to comment!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <strong>"Yet as we grow, of this I know, no matter where we go </strong>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <strong>There is one thing that stays the same, because your smile still remains </strong>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <strong>And on that day, I ran away, afraid cause I was lying </strong>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <strong>So take me back, to when we laughed, and smiled through the crying </strong>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <strong>I’ll walk you home, you’re not alone, It’s how our fairytale was meant to go"</strong>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <strong>-</strong>
  </em>
  <strong>Remind Blue</strong>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Shintaro Kisaragi says goodbye to Ayano Tateyama when they are 19.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He does not see her again until 4 months after he’s turned 28</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He takes leave from the university he is working at to come home. His mother is admitted into the hospital and things are not looking good, Momo still lives at home and said he didn’t need to come back. The thought of not being home if things got worse unsettled him, however, so he locked up his apartment and hopped on a train home.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was nervous, he had not been back since he left to attend university in Tsukuba. He didn’t know if anyone he used to know would be there.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(It’s unfortunate that they all grew apart after all they had been through together but it is what it is. Still, there is a small part of him that hopes </span>
  <em>
    <span>she</span>
  </em>
  <span> will be there.)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The August heat is still as sweltering as after when he steps off the train. August always makes him nervous but he can’t help but feel a little nostalgic as well. He is reminded of hazy dazes in the summer, laughter loud in a place held secret, of holding friends through the pain. A sense of longing fills him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He is not unhappy in life, but still, he always will miss the one he had before.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He remembers that first day in Tsukuba, The pride he felt of making it to where he was overshadowed by the doubt. He held that (stupid) red jacket close to his chest and hide the tears. He tucked the urge to go back home deep within his fragile heart and look forward. If the others could do it then he could too. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was hard, times when he thought he had to be back in the haze just to feel something, times where he was filled with frustration over his own night terrors. He knew the few people he hung out with within his new life were concerned over his jumpy nature and sleepless nights but what could he tell them?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>By the way, I have more memories than any person should have? That they are all of the blood of his friends back home? Of his family?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So he suffered alone and thrived. Get his degree and more, gets a Job he actually enjoys. He likes to think he is doing pretty well for someone who believed they would be dead by 18.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(In this life at least.)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Things were never going to stay the same, they were just children playing games. Trapped in awful circumstances sure, but even those had to end at some point.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He remembers how silent he was after Momo called him to tell him she was quitting her work as an idol. The media had a field day with that one, but he was okay with anything that made her happy. He knows she still talks to the others sometimes and though when she offers to help him connect he always declines.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Those fond summer days are behind him now and he must move forward.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(it was a spoken promise between them. Said between quietly after everything was settled and they realized they couldn’t act like children any longer.)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He knew he would be back at some point, it was inevitable, but it doesn’t feel like he has been gone long at all.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It is Odd, walking into his childhood home (he still has the key). He walks along the same hall he always did to his room, it is the same as well. He can’t help but peek into Momo’s room just before his. He fondly remembers her room is filled with bright oranges and pinks. Now it is a bit toned down going for a softer cream and white. Nobody is home.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sets his bags down and throws himself onto his bed, he’ll unpack in a minute. If he waits too long he knows Momo will scold him for being so lazy even as an adult when she gets home.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>He has been home for a week when it happens.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There is a coffee shop in the main square of town he always wanted to try, so Sunday morning he gets out of bed early in the morning (to the shock of his sister) dresses in a Black turtleneck, black pants, and a navy blue long coat to go out in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(He is walking out the door and can feel eyes in the back of his head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Never thought you would wear anything besides the dumb jersey!” Momo teases)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He gets to the shop just an hour after it opened and orders a french Cappuccino and a Blueberry Scone. He finds a seat in a corner by the window and takes out his phone. Let it be known that while he is older now, being in public still wasn’t one of his favorite things.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The door chimes and Shintaro glances up real quick in reflex, he almost drops his phone. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He knows it’s her immediately, can tell even if she is a little taller and a little more filled out. Her hair is up in a bun (He doesn’t remember if he ever saw it like that before) and she is wearing a short-sleeved blouse and jeans. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ayano?” He calls out before he can stop himself</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She jumped, her head snapping to look at him so quick he wonders if she got whiplash.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shintaro?” she breathes in disbelief.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He nods hesitantly “Yea. it’s been a while.” he pauses “...want to sit with me?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wouldn’t blame her if she said no now, hide his hurt if she did.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thankfully that is not the case as she walks a few steps to set her stuff down on the table. “I’ll just go order really quick and be right back, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He gives a hum in agreement and looks back at his phone to finish the message he was in the middle of typing. One of his coworkers asked how his mother was.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A few minutes later they are both sitting down with their drinks, the tension sharp as broken glass. He shifts a little and glances at her, she fiddles with the straw of her iced coffee. Neither of them knows how to start this conversation. Seems he has been gone long after all.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So...How are you?” Ayano finally speaks up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m okay!” His voice is a little too loud for his liking and he clears him through before speaking again “I took a leave of absence from my job at a University to come home for a bit. My Mother is pretty sick but she seems to be feeling better today. But how are you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh! Let her know I hope she feels better!” Ayano responds with the same cheer she always had, Shintaro can’t help but gaze fondly at her. “I’m doing okay? I work at the Bakery down the street! Just as a cashier but the owner teaches me some things sometimes. Says I have potential I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s good!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“ The others seem to be doing good too!” Ayano continues, Shintaro wanted to ask about them and was happy to know Ayano still knew him well enough to understand. “ Seto and Marry still live in her old home, Kido works part-time while she finishes her classes and Last I checked Kano was set to do an interview for some magazine? I can’t remember the name.” She laughs in embarrassment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shintaro can’t help but smile softly at her. He missed her laugh, missed a lot really.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You still live in the same house?” He asks</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yup! I don’t mind it, it's my childhood home after all.” it was also the home of a family that was ripped apart, a home filled with tragedy. Of course She wouldn’t want to let it go even if a lot of the memories in that house weren’t good ones. “How is Momo? Have you heard from Takane and Haruka?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Momo is doing Okay. Still trying to figure out what to do now that she isn’t in the spotlight so much,” She will always be a little bit of a star, a former idol is still an idol. “ Takane is working for a local game design studio in Kyoto. They live together but I don't know much about what Haruka has been up to.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ooooo, We’ll have to bother him later for the details” She grins mischievously at the prospect.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Later?” He wants to talk to her more, but if she has places to be..</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean!” Her face is flush “I have nowhere to be right now but i won’t keep you if you are busy.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their drinks are done, they could get up and leave. Just two old friends bumped into each other on accident, said some simple hellos and then left to not see each other for another 10 years.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shintaro hates the thought of it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I have nowhere to be.”</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You never realize how much you have to say until you finally get the chance to do so, Shintaro thinks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They have been talking for </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hours. </span>
  </em>
  <span>About anything and everything, from their jobs to his life in Tsukuba to a dish Ayano tried to make the other day that ended up being a disaster. His heart feels overfilled from it all, pouring out to warm his core form the inside out. He could listen to her talks forever, but she wants to hear what he has to say as well.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It is...nice. He always thought he would see her again, always wanted to, but he fears it would be awkward. He never considered that conversation would flow easier now that they are older, their lifes more put together then they were at 19.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He glances out the window at the sun high in the sky. Feels the August heat on the shoulder he had lends against the shop’s window.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shintaro? Did you hear me?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh?” he says dumbly. Blinking at Ayano who is looking at him expectedly. She says and shakes her head to exaggerated exasperation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I said if it was okay I head out, I had a couple of things I wanted to take care of at home today.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” he can’t help but feel a little sad at the prospect of her leaving, and doesn't want to go back to missing her again. He gets an idea but wonders if it was too much to ask “Can i walk you home then?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ayano looks surprised at his offer. Shintaro is steeling himself for polite rejection when she nods and gathers her things “That would be so nice of you! Thank You!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-Your Welcome!” he stutters out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They leave the cafe to start the walk home. Their town was overly large per se, but it took quite a while to get to the more residential area where they lived. It is still nice despite the heat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They talk some more as they walk, commenting on the places they walk by as they go. They pass their school at one point and both give a shudder of mutual disgust at the sight that has them laughing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It is the bridge they cross that has him nervous again. A memory sticks out to him among all that swirls in the back of his head. Of a Girl reaching out to take a boy’s hand, seeking comfort. Of a boy who slaps the hand away and continues on. A memory shrouded in guilt and regret.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This time, the boy will do what he should have done then. Shintaro takes Ayano’s hand, curls their fingers together and keeps walking.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ayano almost freezes in place “Shintaro?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He gulps, still filled with nerves. It takes a moment until he speaks “Last Time… I didn’t take your hand.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Ayano looks at him, her smile small and sad “ </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Shintaro </span>
  </em>
  <span>It’s Okay. We were just kids back then”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He huffs in frustration “ I know! But you still deserve better than what I did. I can’t make up for it but at least I can do this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay.” is all she says and squeezes his hand.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>They stand in front of her house, neither wanting to let go.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They are adults now however and must move forward. No matter how much it hurts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shintaro takes his hand away, turning to face Ayano. “I had fun today...It was nice seeing you.” There is so much more he wants to say. He wants to tell her about the dreams and the longing, about nights, spend staring at train tickets that were never bought or wishing he had made a different choice rather than leaving.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It was nice seeing you too, Shintaro” her voice is low and soft like she wanted to keep this moment a secret between them. “We should do this again.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He finds himself nodding a little too quickly “We should.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She takes out her keys and goes to open the door before turning back, placing a quick kiss to his cheek. His flushes pink.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“See you soon, Shintaro”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course! Anytime, Ayano.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She goes into her home and closes the door. Shintaro continues on in the August heat, reminded of sweet summer days and old friends hiding in secret bases.</span>
</p>
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